prescience of dawn

where was the tiny restaurant i first tried chirashi
the lights were blue and the waitress apologized
so many times i felt sorry and left the biggest tip.
they didn't check i.d. so we had japanese beers.

i keep thinking how ungrateful i have been because
i have lived such a beautiful life without any success
that i could claim for myself.  at the time i never saw
how gentle i would end up becoming, truly.
how could you, who saw it all along, have missed
the broken pieces hiding in my manufactured chaos.
you should have known i couldn't give it up, nope.
in my elegant clothes i can only be confident in the
irony.

nope

wrapped in a towel
naked and dripping
onto the hardwood,
sitting in the room
that used to be mine
in my parents' house.

my sister gretchen
is having a girl.
the shower's today,
and i'm wondering
why nobody likes
confessional pomes.

not even i like them.

untitled

in morning before alarms

before the sunrise.

that solid sense of darkness -

God's hands pressing down

on the filmy barrier

between our tiny

universe or whatever

and His complete one -

that's the feeling that i get

looking at you now.

the tight and velvet embrace

erupting from a

distant relative's flapping

fat arms. and kisses

from her avon lipstick lips.

her powder perfume

flooding each nasal corner.

finally her eyes

just like all the other eyes

incalculable.